Rovingpatrol's Blog

When Someone Dies

Posted in Uncategorized by roving on May 1, 2010
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Image by Burning Image via Flickr
It always feel surreal when someone close to you dies. You look out the window and the world just goes on as if nothing has just happen. You want the world to just stop if only for a minute to acknowledge a persons life has just ended.

I’m a twin. My twin brother was killed when he was a few months old. People say one twin “knows” if the other is in pain. Since I was just a baby when it happen, all I can say is it feels like something is off a little. Its hard to explain. A piece of a puzzle is missing. My mother was also a twin and her twin had died young and when I talked to her about this feeling, she told me she also felt the same thing. The something not quite right feeling has been with me all my life.

I was living with my ex-wife trying to give it one more shot the day my younger brother was killed. I had no idea he was staying at my moms in Stockton that weekend. I also didn’t know he had gone to Nora after a bachelor party. As far as I knew he was with his family in Freeport.

When my ex-wife came home from Casey’s she told me there was a man killed by a train in Nora that morning. My first thought was of my brother. I to this day have no idea why. I tried shaking it off and was thinking of calling him but went about my business.

An hour later I opened the door to answer the knock and saw a Stockton police officer standing there. He didn’t have to say a word. I looked at him and yelled NO and ran into the bathroom locking the door behind me. My ex-wife was given the news by the police.

Just a week before my mother died we had a talk about death. She had tried watching Greg’s wedding video for the hundredth time but couldn’t get past the first 5 min. before breaking down.

Mom opened up to me. She apologized for my life in VA. not doing more to protect me and expressed regret for not having my twin moved from Richmond to Stockton for reburial.

I asked her if she was afraid to die and if she believed in God. She said yes to being scared of death and no in believing in God. How could God take away two of her sons?

I told her she may be blaming the wrong person. She should look at Satan for blame. They’re deaths wasn’t natural and Satan wants her to blame God. Satan will do what it takes to deceive people. She didn’t say anything. She just stood there. A week later she was dead.

They say God works in mysterious ways and uses others to get a message or to help another. I have no idea if I was used or not. My hope is she thought about it and made her peace.

“For the living know that they shall die: but the dead know not anything, neither have they any more a reward; for the memory of them is forgotten.”

I make it a point to take time out to remember all those that I knew who have passed away because as long as I’m alive they will not be forgotten.

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