Rovingpatrol's Blog

Lance Has A New Walker

Posted in politics by roving on November 5, 2009

Lance has been on SSI for about 15yrs or so. Lance is 51yrs old. You name it, he has it. Lance is a walking medical dictionary. He is able to name about any ailment known to man.

Lance claims to have epilepsy. He says he has a implant so if he feels a seizure coming on he just swipes the thing with a magnet that is worn around the wrist. I never see him wear this magnet. I also have never seen him have a seizure. I have purposely tried giving him one by “showing” him the  flashing lights from a jukebox lighter have.  Twice. Even though he says Walmart lights can throw him into a seizure, I got nothing.

Lance claims to have a ton of health problems. By rights he should be dead.  As a matter of fact, he said the doctor told him he had 5yrs left. This was 6 or 7yrs ago.

Lance got a walker. He doesn’t really use it. He pushes it. He will lift it 3 inches off the ground and walk over grass.  The back legs on the walker lost the wheels or whatever was on them so he cut slits in tennis balls and put them on the back legs.

One day I get a call from Lance wanting me to pick him up from his therapists. Lance loves going to shrinks. He also loves going to support groups. He went to a bereavement support group because the apt he moved to didn’t allow dogs so he had to give his away.  Anyway, When I pulled up, he was in a wheelchair. I asked him now what the hell is wrong? He said his bones are going to hell. I had to help him get out of his chair and walk him to the passenger side.

When I pulled up to his building, he got out of my car with no help and hobbled to the wheelchair. I wasn’t surprised at all. I have seen him carry a cane and not use it till he reached the doctor office doors.

Last week I got another call. Lance was wanting me to pick him up from the CVS because he bought a new walker and he couldn’t carry it home.

When I got there, I picked up the box that held the walker. Its a nice walker. Has pouches to carry stuff in. I hope some day when or if I need a walker, its just like that one. Except I want one equipped with a radio/TV.

Lance limped to my car while I put the walker in my backseat.  When we pulled up to his housing unit, people looked out their windows and one man started walking towards us. Lance gets out of the car and now limping even worse.  He walked like one leg was shorter then the other and had a club foot.  I carried the walker to his apt and left.

A few days later I get another call. Lance wants a ride to K-Mart so I went to get him before heading where I needed to go.

Lance comes out using his fancy mancy walker. There is no limp and he is back to just pushing it. Not using it. I’m thinking, maybe if frail and handicapped people would just get a walker. they would be cured.

Now I’m all for people who deserve SSI to collect SSI. Lance is scamming the system and I can’t believe the people at SS are so stupid.  If we could get rid of the fraud going on, SS wouldn’t be in so much trouble.

Just a side note. Lance is married. His wife is also on SSI. When they got married, they ended up getting one check so were actually getting less money.

About a yr after being married, they decide maybe they should get a divorce so Lance moves out and got his own SSI check.

I asked Lance a few days ago if they were still going to get divorced. He said no. So I asked him, you mean, your going to stay married but not live together?? He says yes.

This is yours and my money. Lance has never paid a cent in taxes in his life. When he was working, he got back everything he paid into it.

You decide. I took this short video of Lance using his old walker. Me, I say he is scamming the system.



Vodpod videos no longer available.


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