Rovingpatrol's Blog


Posted in Uncategorized by roving on January 11, 2009

I have two adult children. Where does the time go? Seems like yesterday my daughter was sitting on the floor playing barbies while my son was either picking on her or playing video games.

When kids are small, its a scary thing taking them out in public like to a grocery store. You never know what will come out of their mouth at the wrong time. When I would take my x/gf little daughter to the grocery store I learned to bribe her with candy if she would stay silent while in the checkout.  It worked pretty good. Its just to bad I didn’t think of that when before when my kids were small.

My son would take off on me in the grocery store and always come back eating something. I would ask him what he was eating and how did he get it. He never has told me. Maybe I should call him and see if he is ready to spill the beans.

Once we had just entered the grocery store and I got my cart and was ready to start shopping when my kids took off ahead of me. I was half way up the isle when I heard my son yell out to my daughter while holding a package of hot dogs, “Look. Look at all the penises!”  I told my kids maybe today isn’t the best time to shop. We’ll try again the next day.

The next day as I’m standing in line the checkout, holding my breath hoping to God my kids just remain quiet, my daughter asks me loud enough for everyone in the line to hear, “Dad, why is that lady so fat?” Maybe its just me but when you have small children, the checkout line seems to run even slower.

There are moments when kids can be funny though. In a driv-thru at the bank, my son was sitting in the back seat and suddenly yells out he wanted a Happy Meal. He said it loud enough the people up front in the bank heard him through the microphone.

Holding my daughter one night we were looking at the full moon. She asks me, Daddy, look at the ball” I told her it was the moon. She says, “Can I touch it?” I told her again its the moon and you can’t touch it. She then asks me “Why, is it hot?”

Then we have other peoples kids. We have no power over what other peoples kids do or say. We just have to grin and bear it.

Sitting in a crowded Pizza Hut we had the booth. A family right next us seated at a table had a maybe a 9 month old baby in a highchair. The baby seemed to enjoy the food. It was all over his face and hands.

I was taking my fork out of the napkin when it dropped to the floor. As I was coming up from reaching down to get the fork, the baby grabbed my hair. The kid would not let go. The parents were telling the baby to let go of the nice mans hair but the kid was having none of that. Finally the baby was done humiliating me in front of the whole place and let go. I combed the pizza sauce out of my hair and we continued with the meal.

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  1. gayle said, on January 11, 2009 at 2:19 pm

    That is why I am allergic to small kids today

  2. wroclaw said, on February 25, 2011 at 8:45 am

    You write interesting posts. I like your news 🙂

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