Cops Stopping Someone For Being in A Drug Area

I’m a fan of the show Cops. Some things on the show bother me though.

A police officer pulls someone over because they are in a a known drug dealing area.  So now we are supposed to detour around streets between the hours of 9pm and 6am  that have drug houses? Granted the ones we see on the show did end up being guilty but I wonder how many were truly innocent that were edited out?

A officer tells the person they stopped he was seen leaving a KNOWN drug house. They end up arresting him after a search produces some drugs. The cops then move on. What is wrong with this picture? The cops KNOW there are drugs being dealt at the house but let it continue? Why not get a warrant, go and arrest everyone inside? Or if you see them selling, go up there and arrest them.  Isnt it a crime knowing a crime is being committed but do nothing? especially if your a cop?

Arresting a drug user isn’t going to get drugs off the street. Its the dealers and suppliers who need to be arrested.

A cop is chasing someone. The someone tosses his stash. The cops catch him then meticulously search the area for the drugs until they find it. I remember reading advice from a lawyer who said when cops are chasing you, get rid of the drugs. The cops rarely will go back and search for it. So I must assume the cops on TV do it because well, they are on TV.

Having a suspect on the ground. One cop has his knee on his neck, another, a knee on his back, yet another on his back yelling for the suspect to stop resisting and put your hand behind your back. Okay, lets see, we have three officers dog piling a man with maybe 300 or more pounds of pressure on his neck and back. I think I would have a problem getting my arm out from under me also.

The prostitution stings are the most boring. Why is it when a woman has an abortion, that is okay because its her body and she has that right. Yet she gets arrested for selling her body for sex?? This makes absolutely no sense to me.  You can murder your baby but don’t you dare have sex for money.

Other then that I enjoy watching someone have a bad night.

Navy Tidbits

I signed up with the delayed entry program for the Navy and went into service a month after graduating from high school at the age of 17.   When I went in, the slogan was “Fly Navy” and “Sailors have more fun.”

After boot in Chicago and my standard two week leave I was to head  for my ship in VA. The USS Dupont DD 941. My first thought, what a stupid name for a ship.

I have never been on a plane before. I was seated next to the wing. I called the stewardess over to let her know I think the wing is going to break. How was I supposed to know its supposed to do that?

In the Navy I learned many things. For example, there is no such thing as a BT Punch. Or a mail buoy. The bucket of steam and bulkhead remover I am proud to say, I never fell for.

Being on a ship requires a your left and right part of the brain to work together. When walking through a doorway, you step over and duck your head. Its very important to do both at the same time.

If the sea is rough, jumping up in the air as the ship drops down, takes a little practice.

Always be prepared for a sudden roll. I still have the scar.

Some men throw up every time the ship left port. It took me a couple hours before getting sick but it never happen again.

Eating instructions: Take a slice of bread, place under food tray so tray wont slide. With other hand hold your drink. NEVER take your hand of the drink. As the ship rolls, tip the drink in the opposite direction.

Before leaving port make sure everything is tied down and secured or people could get hurt from sliding chairs and such if a person loses his balance and while laying on the floor, 3 or 4 chairs may slide across the room and slam into that person.

Anywhere from 15 minutes to one hour a code word will come over the intercom. When hearing this word its very important to play like a statue while armed men patrol the ship with orders to shoot anyone that moves. The reasoning being, a stowaway wouldn’t know what was going on.

Remember to tuck yourself under your sheet. Some racks may be 4 high. Men are tired and don’t want to be waken up by a loud thud followed by swearing.I found the best way to sleep was on my stomach. Less rocking back and forth.

Which brings me to talking in sentences. Every other word MUST include a swear word. The only problem is when visiting family when on leave, you MUST remember your mother may not like that very much.

Being out at sea, we averaged 4hrs sleep a day. I found it is possible to catch a few winks while standing.

The life boats have/did have little packages of candy.

Painting the water line takes two people. One to do the painting while the other bails water out of the rowboat.

To clean a mop: take mop and rope. Tie half hitches around the mop handle. Throw mop over in the water aft of the ship. Tow mop for 5 minutes.  Haul mop back aboard ship, untie rope and use.

To dry mop: Twirl mop and as the mop is flung out, set down so mop is standing by itself.

When firing a dummy torpedo that accidentally hits a Russian battle ship, expect retaliation when least expected. Maybe they will fire one back at you at 2am.

A ball cap, a shirt and even your pants can be used to keep you above water if fallen overboard.

Some Terminology:

Aye Aye sir. I always felt stupid saying that.

Shit can: Trash can

Bulkhead: Wall

Bug juice: Kool aid

Marine Shower: Cold shower. This happen a lot. No hot water.

Holiday Shower: A warm shower lasting more then 5 minutes. It takes time to convert sea water into usable water so short showers were a necessity.

Scuttlebutt: Water fountain.

Squid: Sailor.

Skate: Screwing off instead of working.

There are exciting and frightening moments such as almost being washed overboard during a storm.

Fog so thick the ship has to be a complete stop and ring a bill every few minutes to let other ships that almost hit it know there is a ship dead in the water.

Being called to general quarters and “this is not a drill.” being said in one sentence.

Having your general quarters 3 stories below the water loading the 5″/54 guns with the powder and projectiles with no way to escape if something should go wrong.

Think you will learn a trade you are able to use in the outside world? Maybe. Maybe not. I had been to  fires schools and continually having to be qualified to fight fires . My ship had caught fire while out at sea so firefighting training is very important. When I was discharged, I thought I could use that training and get a job with a big city fire department. Oh oh. There was a problem. The Navy fights fires completely different them civilian fire departments. Looking at the exam I realized the terminology was also completely different. I was looking at gibberish.

Lost three shipmates. Had a burial at sea for them. Being on a ship is like having 250 close family members. The ship itself becomes like a family.

I miss my family.

Why Oh Why

Why oh why does a person on a motorcycle at a red light think they need to continually rev their engine? Is it some kind of cool factor they think they are exhibiting? Do they not realize some would like to get out of their car, walk up to them and slap them off their bike?  Trust me, the only one your impressing is yourself. The rest of us hate your guts.

Speaking of motorcycles, why is it if a car went by a cop that had a muffler as loud as a motorcycle, they get a ticket for excessive noise yet the motorcycle wouldn’t?

When a person is riding a chopper, does his arms fall asleep? Why would someone want handlebars above their head?

Why is it some in a car step on the gas all the way down hill  only to have to slow down at the bottom because now they are going to fast?

Which brings me to why do some stay on the gas until 15 feet from the stop sign then put on their brakes? You just wasted gas AND brake wear for nothing as I coasted up next to you.

When a person has their stereo up so loud, it shakes the walls a half block away but all we hear is thump thump thump, does the person think we can hear their music or the song that is being played? Do they think because they like their music, we all would even though all we here is thump thump thump? Are they wearing earplugs or is it just heavy wax buildup in their ears?

Why would someone have their drivers seat pulled so far back they can barely see over the steering wheel? Do they not realize they look stupid? Why doesn’t the police pull them over for that? Its obviously a driving hazard.

Why would a teen wear his pants low and claim its expressing their individuality when 70% of other teens do the same thing? Would they continue to wear their pants like that if they knew where it started and the reason? (in prison. showed other men he was “available” and made easy access) Trust me, when you look back after growing up your going to cringe at pictures of yourself wearing your pants halfway down your butt.

When going into a department store with no cash and only checks, why not have the check filled out except for the amount before everything is rang up?  Oh, and why not have your drivers licence ready instead of waiting for the cashier to ask you for it and now you have to dig around looking for it?  Do you not realize the people behind you have a life? We wasn’t put on earth waiting for you.

Why rake leaves? Leaves act as a blanket for the ground during the winter and by spring they are pretty much gone anyway. Which means, you just did all that raking for nothing.

Why are there mosquito’s? Do they serve a purpose besides being food for bats?

Why do most penises hang to the right? Does a left handed persons hang to the left? Could a left hanging one be trained to hang to the right?

Why call the new toilets water savers when you have to flush it twice?

Why not have deer warning horns as  standard requirement  on all cars? For the ones that do have one, shouldn’t the insurance be a little cheaper? We have a LOT of deer around here. We have a LOT of cars hitting deers.

Why does Woolite and most other carpet cleaners sell products that don’t work and why does the government let them rip off people with false advertisements saying that they do work?

If toothpaste prevents cavities, why do we get cavities? Why do we still need to go in for cleanings? Doesn’t this mean the toothpaste actually DOESN’T work? Shouldn’t the toothpaste say it probably wont prevent cavities?

Why is it if there are three urinals in the mens room, a guy will use the middle one forcing whoever comes in to stand next to him? Or, if a man is using the end urinal a guy will come in and use the middle one when the there is a perfectly fine one on the end?

Why would a person not take off their oily gloves when using a forklift that has to be shared with others?

Why did I have to bring in my birth certificate to work a few years ago to prove I was born in the U.S. but one other person in  a higher paygrade  didn’t have to?

Illinois To Nevada By Car

I live in NW part of Illinois and at the time it seemed like it might be fun to drive almost 2000 freaking miles to reach Sparks Nevada.  The fun lasted about 4hrs into it. Then  it became a job. I didn’t bring a road atlas with me. I only relied on my GPS. (Note to self, bring road atlas on next trip so I know where the hell I am in in the states or even know what state I’m in)

Iowa is land a hog. Why does a state think they need to be so damn huge? I was halfway through the state wondering if it was growing as I was driving.

I will say though, Iowa has the most impressive rest areas I ever been in. The state goes all out to impress the traveler and it worked.  The rest areas also are fairly close  enough together so that if you need to use the bathroom, a person wouldn’t have their bladder erupt if they decided to wait till the next rest area.

Iowa rest stops were the only ones who would have a you are here map. In every other rest stop I was in I only saw the map of the state and they left out the you are here part. Unless I just didn’t see it.

Going through Nebraska was fine until it got around midnight. It seems most gas stations close around then. I would fill my car up when I reached a half a tank. So around 1am I was at that half full mark and started looking out for gas stations. I would see signs for gas and head off the interstate only to find them closed. When my gas gauge read slightly under half a tank, I started to feel a little panicky and decided to look for a rest area to park for the night.

The first sign I saw that said there was a rest area up ahead, I missed because I didn’t see the rest area. Nebraska likes to hide some of them. Instead of having them right there ON the interstate, they for some reason thought it would be fun to put it out of sight and make you drive through a maze to get to it. In one of their rest stops I couldn’t find my way out. My GPS was starting to get pissed at me. ” As soon as possible, make a u-turn.” I finally just sat there and waited for someone to leave so I could just follow them.

I drove till I found one that I could actually see and pulled in for the night. When I woke up a few hrs later I decided to go inside and use the facilities and buy me a can of coke to wash down my aspirin. This brings me to another complaint. All rest areas should have a soft drink machine. Which brings me to another complaint. The ones that do have a soft drink machine, whats up with the plastic bottles of soda? What is wrong with cans? Bottles of soda dont seem like they get as cold and taste a little flat.  Which brings me to another complaint. Do most rest stops have a thing against coca-cola?

Going through Wyoming wasn’t to bad except for the fact, they hate rest areas. They cant be bothered with building them so they have quite a few of places you can park but have nothing else. The rest areas they do have are pretty boring. They don’t want you sticking around so they just build a building around a couple bathrooms in the hopes you do your job then leave

Lot of road construction signs all the way west.  Lot of cones but no work being done.  I never was told if you have to drive slow even if there is no road construction actually being done. Sometimes I sped through them, sometimes I didn’t.

In one part of Wyoming there actually was work being done. They had the interstate on my side down to one lane. The problem is, they must have forgotten to put warning signs a few miles back because traffic was backed up for miles due to both lanes being full of vehicles trying to get into the one open lane.

The gas stations all the way to Nevada have no trust in us travelers. They all want us to prepay for gas. I would go in, stand in line, give them some money, pump my gas, then have to go back in, stand in line to get my change because I could never get all the gas I paid for into my car.   To all you gas thieves, thanks a lot assholes.

Salt Lake City really needs to do something about their road signs. My GPS is telling me what lane to be in and I follow its instructions. Next thing I know, my GPS is “recalculating”  When I look up, I see the lane I’m supposed to be in going off slightly to the right and since there is a cement barrier, I can’t get over to it and end up somewhere in Salt Lake city hell. My GPS is telling me to turn left. Problem is, I’m in the far right of the million lane and the road is packed full of cars filling all the lanes.  I turn my blinker on and lo and behold, like the hand of God coming down cars slowed down and let me over so I was able to get back on the interstate.

Not only does the west detest rest areas, they also build as few gas stations as possible. Now I’m looking for stations when my Gage reaches 3/4 mark. My car is new so it isn’t quit broke in and I was getting around 32-35 mpg.

I was going through the salt flats and wondering if I was going to make it out of there alive. I’m watching my gas Gage drop and the only thing in front of me is more interstate. When I finally saw a gas sign off in the distance, I realized I  yes, there is a God.

Driving a long distance you notice the same people. Mostly truck drivers. I pass them, leave then miles behind, stop and get gas and end up passing them again. Crips, how much gas does a semi hold anyway? It was getting a little embarrassing passing the same guys over and over.

The country is very brown from Utah to Nevada. I see nothing growing. I’m wondering to myself, what do you people do to contribute to the rest of the country?

The wind in some parts were pretty wild. I saw a a camper flipped over from the wind. I had to grip the steering wheel and just hang on.

There is a couple tunnels that I had to go into. One was fine. It had lights inside. The other, not so fine. No lights inside. Imagine, your in the bright sunlight when suddenly your going through a unlit tunnel. Not good.

I never been to a place that practically has no humidity.  Here in IL, the humidity rarely goes below 50% so even if its in the 70’s but the humidity may be in the 90’s it feels crappy.

In sparks, the temps in the day time reached into the 90’s but with the low humidity I never sweated. Very weird. I felt like I was a human magnifying glass and sun was burning right through me.  I was tired all the time. At night the temps would drop into the 60’s and the wind picked up. I slept like a baby every night. Normally I toss and turn. In Nevada I was falling asleep within 15 min. of my head hitting the pillow.

I never felt dirty. My glasses would get that oily stuff on them up near the top where they hit your eyebrows but not in Nevada. I was only having to clean them once a day.

Every morning I would wake up in a panic knowing I still had that drive back. It almost made me sick every time I thought about it.

I did enjoy myself there though. Went to Carson City way up in the mountains, went to lake Tahoe and took a ride on the tour boat while one and only Mark Twain  explained the history of the area.

On the way back, I knew what to expect so was prepared. I filled up before hitting the salt flats. I had gave my car its first oil change in Sparks and noticed the more I drove the better millage I was getting. I ended up getting a little over 40mpg. It was much better. I never reached panic mode all the way back.

Again, Salt Lake City REALLY needs to rethink the interstate markings. I was being double careful this time. Everything was going perfect. There even I-E 80 markings painted on the road and I made sure I was on it and thought to myself I got it this time. I’m actually going to make it when suddenly my GPS was “re-calculating” again.  The difference this time was I didnt end up in Salt Lake City hell and was able to get on the right lane.

I think they should have gas stations at all rest stops. Or, if your going to put a sign up that says “GAS” put it near the interstate. Don’t make people get off the interstate and end up driving 3 miles into some town or city looking for the gas station. Your not going to trick me into stopping to shop. I’m getting my gas and blowing your town.

When I hit Nebraska on the way back a deer shot out in front of me. It was around 1am. Now I’m paranoid as hell. I’m trying to keep my eye on the road and now off the road looking for any deer who seems to think the grass is greener on the other side. This went on for an hr when I decided enough. I’m stopping at the next rest stop excpet of course the next rest stop was parking only. If you needed to take a leak, I guess you do it on the ground.

As I’m looking for a rest stop that has a building I saw a comet. I thought for sure that thing was going to hit the ground.  It looked like it burned up not more then 50ft from the ground. I found my rest stop and slept for a few hrs before moving on.

About the middle of Nebraska I noticed the humidity was getting higher. I had my car window down the whole time since Nevada but now I’m getting the crud feeling so use my a/c.

When I got into Iowa it was like a whole new world. All that green. All them cows. All them farms and corn. Again, what do the people out west contribute? Dirt? Sand?

I stopped into one of their beautiful rest areas and they had a map with a “You are here” on it! My heart sunk. I’m looking at it thinking, holy crap. I have that far to go? Holy crap.crap crap crap.

Everything is going smoothly till I hit Iowa City. I see it in the distance. Its huge. Storm clouds. I’m right in the middle of the city when it hits. It poured so hard I could barely see anything. The cars around me don’t seem to be fazed and still speed.  I can’t pull over till it passes because there is nowhere to pull over.  I hold on and hold my breath till we get out of it.

After leaving Iowa city, not much happen. I just can’t believe how big that state is.  I finally made it home to IL. Never will I do that again…I don’t think.

Chantix: Week 7

Maybe I was to heavy of a smoker (2-2 1/2 a day) because I still want a cigarette. What I will say however is I may still want a ciggie but the cravings would be MUCH worse if it wasn’t for the pill. The cravings are more like if I were on day 5 of a quit. Its not a 24 non stop crave.

I’m getting tired of the upset stomachs every time I take a pill. I dread taking it knowing what will be next. The dreams are a rip off. Dreams wearing the patch were much better. All my dreams with the pill are depressing ones. One day I was just sitting there and sorta dozed. I wasn’t asleep yet began dreaming right away. I know a man who said he was dreaming while awake.

I am using nicotine lozenges to take a little more of the edge off. I break them in half. I also suck on mostly lifesavers butter rum candy.  I never realized how hard it is to find this candy. In a town of 25,000 I can only find them in one place. A grocery store. So far I have wiped out one isle of them. I hope they restock them.

I know the cravings will be with me the rest of my life. I have quit before for one year and every day there were cravings on and off throughout the day so I know its something I just have to live with.

I am supposed to get one more month supply of the pill but I’m not doing it. mainly because of the upset stomachs.  I’ll stick with the lozenges for awhile though.

CNN Rick Sanchez Killed Jeffrey Smuzinick

I vaguely remembered something about CNN’s Sanchez having a DUI and when reading about it on Larry Sinclair’s blog decided to look it up.

Jeffrey Smuzinick supposedly ran out into traffic when Rick Sanchez, drunk, behind the wheel, struck and injured 32 yr old Jeffrey. A carpenter by trade. Jeffrey had severe head injuries and was paralyzed. He was in a coma for months. He underwent rehabilitation but ended up dying in a nursing home at the age of 36.

After hitting the man, Sanchez LEAVES the scene and runs home. He then returns later. Larry says he went home to get his drivers license and down a quick beer so he could tell the cops he needed to calm his nerves. (which makes it a hit and run)

When the New York Observer interviewed Rick, the subject of the killing came up. Rick, who has no problem attacking others on air, becomes defensive when the shoe is on the other foot. His excuse for driving drunk , injuring, paralyzing a man who ends up in a nursing home then dies?

“I was wrong, because I had a couple of cocktails, because I was over the legal limit,” he went on. “It could have happened to anybody. … There were probably a lot of other people leaving the stadium that had had a couple of beers as well.” The police tested him over one hour after the hit and run and he was still  above the legal limit. I think he had more then just a couple.

Strange how a liberal never takes full blame for anything. Its all about them. Witnesses at the scene say Rick ignored the victim and it all became about Sanchez. as he loudly told police and bystanders that blood tests were pointless, and would hurt his public image.

Rick the ever compassionate person he pretends to be  never visited his victim. Never called him to say he was sorry because well, its all about him.

No jail time. No charges.

Hey Fellas, Their Inside

VA Tech. A man is busy picking off students one by one. Eyewitness accounts describe police hiding behind trees and failing to pursue the killer, while ordering the school to be placed on lockdown so nobody could escape the carnage as the killer picked off his targets with seemingly little interruption from the police.

This happens way to much. Police slow to respond. Needing time to reassess the situation.  While they twiddle their thumbs instead of doing the job they are paid to do, people needlessly die.  The police  are the ones with the guns and vests. The people being killed are unarmed and helpless.

At 11:21am two (some claim three) kids walk into a high school and started shooting. Depending on who tells it the shooting stopped anywhere from 11:46am to as late as 3:45pm. A total of 15 people including the shooters were killed. SWAT didn’t enter the school until a half hour after the shooting stopped. The police were there within three minutes but Sheriff said they were “out gunned.” So opted for hiding behind cars.

Now we have the most recent massacre in New York and again, slow police response costs people their lives and again, instead of trying to save lives, they need to hide so they can think about it for awhile in the hopes the killer will just kill himself when finished.

I know police work is dangerous but they know its dangerous before joining up. There was no gun pointed to their head forcing them to be a police officer.  If  a police officer chooses to hide behind trees and cars while people are being killed, maybe its time that police officer looks for another line of work.

Chantix: Day 5

Not sure if its the chantix but last two nights I could barely sleep. I slept a couple hrs sorta last night. Gave up and laid down on the couch. I then fell asleep. Maybe I just needed a change. I don’t know.

I started the 2 pill dose last night. When I woke up I had no cravings but I still have a half pack of ciggies and smoked anyway. While getting ready to go out I lit up another and had to put it out because I didn’t want it.

I don’t know if its just my imagaination or not. Seems a little early for the pill to be working. I havent even started the full dosage yet. Being a hard core smoker, 2-3 packs a day, I find it hard to believe its working already.

I just lit up a ciggie and so far I’m still smoking it. The feeling I get when smoking is a full lung feeling. Maybe I’m just coming down with something.

I barely get a upset stomach now when I take the pill if at all. Still being ripped off of the really vidid dreams like the patch gives. Maybe that will come when I start the full dosages.

I’m not seeing things that arnt there yet or thinking of killing myself.

Chantix: Day 3

Three pack a day smoker and I quit smoking for one year once  using the patch and gum. I used both for a month then dropped the patch and stayed with the gum. I cut the gum in half so the package would last longer. I chewed the gum for maybe 4 months. By the time I decided to get off the gum I was only chewing two pieces a day.

I CRAVED EVERY DAY. I felt cheated. I quit damn it! This didn’t feel fair. Granted the first three days in the quit was really bad. A non stop craving.  Total hell.  I had no idea caving and just having one ciggie would ruin all I did. Looking back I should have bought some more of the nicotine gum.

I have quit again. A week here, month there. I keep trying but I know what hell it takes to go through and always have the feeling of dread.

Now that the Kenyan has broken his promise of no new taxes and stabbed his sheeple in the back not to mention my state of IL wants to add another dollar to the cost of a pack, I decided enough is enough. I want to force the Kenyan and my state to go after other peoples vices for a change and went to see my doctor to get some Chantix.

Day one it wasn’t more then 20 minutes and I got a queasy stomach. My mouth tasted like a tin can. Same for day two. Day three my stomach wasn’t as queasy and it didn’t last. The tin taste is gone. Tomorrow I start taking two pills a day.

So far I feel nothing. I’m dreaming but nothing like the dreams I had while wearing the patch. I hope they get more vivid. Its like being on an adventure when going to sleep. Except when its a nightmare. Wearing the patch I had a nightmare. It was so real I was afraid to go back to sleep. When I did fall back to sleep I’ll be damn if the dream didn’t start where it left off.

I’m still smoking like I normally do. I keep waiting to notice something but so far nothing. I’m still smoking as much as I always have.

I’ll let you all know if Chantix works for me. Maybe it will because now I have the Kenyan for motivation.

How To Become A Shellback

Everyone is a Pollywog until they cross the equator aboard a ship. Then you become a Shellback. It was a tradition originally  created as a test for the seasoned sailor’s to make sure their new shipmates could handle long rough times at sea. The things they make a pollywog do, I fail to see how that is a test of anything. Maybe things were done different a century ago.

I served aboard the Destroyer USS Dupont pictured in the header of this blog.

The day before the crossing we held a beauty contest.  It was all in good fun. We had no idea what was in store for us the next day. If we did, I doubt we would of been laughing and joking around. The people pictured are still polywogs.  (The man in the middle won.)

I was standing the 4am-8am watch the day we crossed the equator.  As soon as I was relieved, I had to put my pants and shirt on backwards,  my shoes on the wrong feet.  After the ceremonies began, you soon forget how uncomfortable that is. Once its over, we threw everything away.

They started by making us all kneel down and breaking eggs on top of our heads, calling us names and smacking  us with a piece of fire hose.  No sailor is forced to participate but the ones who didn’t were looked down on as cowards. I went through it myself but didn’t look down on the ones who backed out.

We were on our hands and knees the whole day. On ships they have what is called non skid. Its really hard and rough. Sorta like being on your hands and knees on small gravel.

They continually hosed us down with fire hoses while dropping eggs from above on us. We had to crawl from the bow of the ship to the stern. Some gave up. It makes no difference who you are. Even officers who have never crossed goes through this. As a matter of fact our captain had never been across the equator. They were a little extra rough with him from what I heard.

There were only really two gross parts to the whole thing. The first one happen halfway through. They pick the two fattest sailor who are a  shellback, put some kind of green goop on his stomach. I think it may have been peanut butter mixed with horse radish and food coloring. In the belly button is a cherry. We must get that cherry out using our mouth.

The main problem is he grabs your head and pushes your face deep into his belly and smears your head all over it.  After that, there was no turning back. I was going to finish it even if it killed me.

The 2nd one was worse then the belly epeisode. They had saved up garbage for a week. They put the rotted food in a long chute. It reminded me of a slip and slide.  They put a apple in your mouth and you must still have that apple in your mouth when comeing out from the other end. As your going through it, the people on top are beating you trying to get you to drop that apple. If you come out with no apple, you must go through it again.

Inside the chute, was rotted food along with vomit from other sailors who went in it before you. The smell was overwelming. I came out of the chute covered in garbage and puke but still had that apple in my mouth just like the guy in the picture.

Once we get past the garbage chute, we become a shellback. A true blue sailor. We walk over to a fire hose they had hanging down and stand under it to rinse ourselves off. After changing into clean clothes there is a celebration cookout that night.

For the ones who were afraid to go through it the first time across, they had a second chance when we crossed over. It wasnt as bad as what we went through. They didnt have to crawl all over the ship and there was no garbage chute. It also lasted only a few hours. If I had known that, I may have waited for the return trip.

How Wisconsin Became Populated

I live on the Illinois Wisconsin border. Back when gas was cheap and if I was really bored, I would sometimes get in my car and take a drive. I like going there to cut the cheese sometimes.

My advice, never go to Wisconsin at night or make sure you are out of the state before dark. I once went to meet someone deep into Wisconsin. It took me 1/12hr to get to my destination. I took me almost 4hrs to get back to Illinois.  When I hit the Illinois border it took all I had not to stop the car and kiss the ground.

All I did was try and avoid going through one town and wanted to go around it. 2hrs later I ended up in the exact same place where I started.

I have been in many many states and Wisconsin was the only state that I ever had a problem navigating in. The reason you ask? Well, its the road signs. Wisconsin has some strange signs. They are letters. its not so bad in the daylight and as long as the sun is out. You can use it to get out of there but at night, forget it.

Some may think I was lost. That isn’t so. Men don’t get lost. Sometimes we like to take the scenic route. We do it on purpose.   Wisconsin is full of  people who couldn’t find their way out and just gave up. Abduction. That’s what Wisconsin does to inhabit the state.

They put out these road signs on purpose making it almost impossible to get out.  People ended up saying the hell with it. We’ll just live here. Some signs only have letters only like KK. No North/ South KK. Just KK.

You have been warned.

I Got A Note From My Mailman

I live in NW IL and we have had a couple of really snowy cold winters.  This is the kind of winters we used to have. I didn’t like it then and I don’t like it now.

What I detest more then driving in this crap, the high heat bills, being so cold a person can feel every nose hair, your coat making crinkling noises, or your car seat feels like your sitting on a cement block,  is shoveling the crap.

The city widen the street so now my sidewalk is closer to the street now. The snowplows are pretty good at clearing the streets. The problem I have though is the plows drive by so fast they throw all the sand, salt slush and snow on top of my walk forcing me to work twice as hard. If I wait to long after they throw snow on my walk it will ice up and nothing will get it off my walk until it melts.

The city has a ordinance saying our walks have to be cleared completely of snow and ice. If not, we look at fines. A few blocks down  lives a old woman on a corner lot. The plows picked that corner to turn around throwing snow on her walk. I once saw snow piled up taller then me on her corner.

Apparently last winter  I didn’t get my snow cleared fast enough for my mailman. He left a note in my box that read if  my sidewalk isn’t cleared he won’t deliver my mail and I would have to go to the post office to pick it up.

I’m home when my mailman delivers my mail. I have NEVER seen him use my walk. He walks across my lawn. I see him deliver the mail across the street and never seen him use the walk there either.

My mailman is the “Worst Person In The World”

Kids

I have two adult children. Where does the time go? Seems like yesterday my daughter was sitting on the floor playing barbies while my son was either picking on her or playing video games.

When kids are small, its a scary thing taking them out in public like to a grocery store. You never know what will come out of their mouth at the wrong time. When I would take my x/gf little daughter to the grocery store I learned to bribe her with candy if she would stay silent while in the checkout.  It worked pretty good. Its just to bad I didn’t think of that when before when my kids were small.

My son would take off on me in the grocery store and always come back eating something. I would ask him what he was eating and how did he get it. He never has told me. Maybe I should call him and see if he is ready to spill the beans.

Once we had just entered the grocery store and I got my cart and was ready to start shopping when my kids took off ahead of me. I was half way up the isle when I heard my son yell out to my daughter while holding a package of hot dogs, “Look. Look at all the penises!”  I told my kids maybe today isn’t the best time to shop. We’ll try again the next day.

The next day as I’m standing in line the checkout, holding my breath hoping to God my kids just remain quiet, my daughter asks me loud enough for everyone in the line to hear, “Dad, why is that lady so fat?” Maybe its just me but when you have small children, the checkout line seems to run even slower.

There are moments when kids can be funny though. In a driv-thru at the bank, my son was sitting in the back seat and suddenly yells out he wanted a Happy Meal. He said it loud enough the people up front in the bank heard him through the microphone.

Holding my daughter one night we were looking at the full moon. She asks me, Daddy, look at the ball” I told her it was the moon. She says, “Can I touch it?” I told her again its the moon and you can’t touch it. She then asks me “Why, is it hot?”

Then we have other peoples kids. We have no power over what other peoples kids do or say. We just have to grin and bear it.

Sitting in a crowded Pizza Hut we had the booth. A family right next us seated at a table had a maybe a 9 month old baby in a highchair. The baby seemed to enjoy the food. It was all over his face and hands.

I was taking my fork out of the napkin when it dropped to the floor. As I was coming up from reaching down to get the fork, the baby grabbed my hair. The kid would not let go. The parents were telling the baby to let go of the nice mans hair but the kid was having none of that. Finally the baby was done humiliating me in front of the whole place and let go. I combed the pizza sauce out of my hair and we continued with the meal.

I was At A McDonalds One Day And…

Its not often I go inside a McDonalds. Normally I just do the driv-thru. This day I went in, the place was crowded and  I had to wait in line. Not good. It gives you time to watch the people prepare the food.

I was watching a guy prepare the burgers. On his left hand he wore a glove. This is good except for one tiny problem. He had the fingers of the glove cut off. On the right hand he was not wearing a glove.

With the right gloveless hand he would pick up the top bun and place it on the burger. With the left, he picked the burger up and put it in the wrapper. I’m beginning to have second thoughts about maybe skipping a meal.

Before  he was ready for  the next burger he lifted is left gloved hand (the one with the fingers cut off) and I watched him raise it towards his nose. I’m thinking NO! DON’T DO IT! But he did. It went in. After he was finished, it was back to work.

I looked around to see if anyone just seen what happen. Apparently no one did. I suddenly had a craving for a  subway tuna sandwich and decided yes, that sounds pretty good about now. I left.

From now on I only do the driv-thru. I figure what I don’t know cant hurt me.

Being Single

Being single with no one around gives a person time to think. Probably because there are large amounts of boredom thrown in with it.

As I was getting ready to slave in the kitchen one day to make my supper, I was right in the middle of opening up my TV dinner and  came across an idea.  A TV dinner restaurant.

The people come into my place, I give them a list of TV dinners I have, they pick one, I heat it up. It could be geared towards  the single people.  It could also cater to the married folks who wish to revive the days of single-hood again.

Instead of tables, chairs and booths, the restaurant  would have couches and coffee tables to eat at. Along with a TV.  To make it more like home there would be magazines spread around the coffee table along with 2 or 3 remote controls. the  3rd remote is hidden and you have to find it.

When it comes to housework, the “mood” has to hit me or I wont do as good of a job.  A couple days ago the mood did hit but by the time I was finished with the living room and dining room the mood was wearing off. I wasn’t able to get the kitchen. Now I am conducting a experiment with the kitchen. All my life I have been told things wont get done if you just let it sit. Well I’m  testing that theory.  So far it isn’t looking to good. Maybe I’ll give it one more day.

I’m no carpenter but being single means who cares?  I wanted to make a wooden screen door but when finished I forgot to allow room to actually open and shut it so now I have a very large screen window I’m willing to sell.

I have two cats. When they aren’t  trying to kill me by jumping out in front me hoping I trip, they can be pretty humorous to watch.  I find myself actually talking to them sometimes like a real person who can understand what I’m saying.  There has been times when the cats are sleeping and I find myself walking quietly so as not to disturb them when it hits me. What the hell am I doing? their cats!  So then I purposely stomp as I walk to show them I’m in charge. I know they do love me though because of the small dead animals they leave me. Unless its actually a warning and they are showing me who really is in charge. Maybe I should watch my back.

When a single guy buys a house his mother likes to help her son out. I now have flowery curtains and some fake plants. I don’t mind though. It made my mother happy thinking she was making me happy. Its just one more thing to explain if a man comes to my house and glances at my curtains.

Being single has its ups and downs.  Sometimes its bothersome coming home from work and the only one to greet you is a couple cats and the main thing on their mind is food and a clean litter box.  Other times its nice to be on your own.

Maybe someday I can write what its like to be married.